So, how long does it take for two people to become friends after they break up after a relationship? some may say that they could never be friends with someone after a break up, while others say that that they just don't want to be Friends anymore. Personally i have to admit that having been dumped about 8 months ago, following a year long relationship, it took longer than i expected to be normal friends.
And i don't mean the times that you tell your self that "i am her friend only" as an excuse just to get closer to her, knowing all the while that you have unresolved feelings that certainly needed to be sorted out. but really how long does it take? one interesting theory that someone came up with is that it take half the time that you went out with someone, to get over them....
for me, following months of denial and playing mind games with my self, it suddenly dawned on me, "wake the fuck up, she doesn't love you and she's not fucking coming back, DEAL WITH IT" and deal with it i did... i must say just admitting it and actually making an active effort to move on, really does help.... besides we are pretty good friends now, despite all the ugly things that happened....
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8 comments:
hmmmmm
does that mean you agree with me or not?
Hi,
Not to depress you more or anything but the reality is, you NEVER EVER EVER REALLY GET OVER A PREVIOUS LOVE - if you really loved them .
There'll always come a time when you'll be happily hopping along - or riding along in your case on the moped - and some moment or memory will grab you by the throat and make you choke with the realisation that you still love that past love - even though you thought it was long gone.
Personally, this is how I feel about lost loves:
A thousand tomorrows from now
A thousand tomorrows from now
I will still remember
The love that you once whispered
With a sigh
A thousand tomorrows from now
I will be lost in memories
As glorious sunsets pass me by
And wonder why
A thousand tomorrows from now
Thoughts of you will still rain down
In the still of the night
And make me cry
A thousand tomorrows from now
Your memory will whisper
And in crowded moments
I will see your tender smile
A thousand tomorrows from now
Cheers,
Marianne
you know marianne, you are absolutely right, and its scary sometimes to think that you are ok, only to be suddenly pulled down by emotions that you thought were submersed, sometimes they are good memories and sometimes they are sad....
And sometimes you just want to kill them in the most brutal way - and then sometimes you worry if they are getting wet in the rain, or if they are cold, or lonesome, or forgot to eat or if they are loved enough by the ?$%**^$ who ohlds them now.
e.g.:
Twisted
I think I hate you
You who I once
Loved so desperately
Fervently
Obsessively
Unendingly
I think I wish
You were dead
Because it still kills me
When I see your face
Cheers,
Marianne
I would have to say no...unless the breakup was mutual and agreed upon in a civilized manner...no dumping, cheating, lying, etc...even then its pretty tough...so yeah..no I dont think its possible to be friends..acquaintances maybe...friends definteily not...
i guess that would be logical, but in some cases even though dumping or lying would have taken place, if you still care about someone wouldnt you want to be friends with them and leave the past behind you?
I find boxing useful when i'm depressed... =)...or long walks on the beach, or metal music at high volume...
It's hard to move on once you've given your heart to someone, but you cant hold onto a butterfly who wants to fly away...you got to let them go....
end of the day it's all about kicking yourslef in the ass....and coming back to reality...
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